Unicorn Sexuality: Polyamory & Relationship Meaning

We know unicorns as mythical and magical creatures. They have been around in ancient paintings and literature for centuries. More recently though, the unicorn has found its way into pop-culture. Either in the form of dolls, a mascot for the LGBTQ+ community and even as a name for a sexual participant in polyamorous relationships. (Don’t fret if you didn’t catch that, I’ll explain more later)

A sexual unicorn is simply a third party that engages in group sex with, usually heterosexual, couples. They have been dubbed Unicorns because of how hard it is to find them.

In this article, I’ll describe what a sexual “unicorn” is and work out why more women are often unicorns instead of men. I’ll also explain the act of unicorn hunting (🦄), unicorn relationships and the concept of polyamory. 

Polyamory Explained

Long before there were sexual unicorns, there was polyamory.

In brief, polyamory is the act of intimate relationships with more than one partner. The word comes from the Greek ‘poly’ which means ‘several or many’. The flipside to this is monogamy, the act of being in a relationship with one person and no one else.

You may have also heard of ‘polygamy’ and wondered what the difference between it and polyamory is? Well, polyamory is a genderless term whilst polygamy often refers to heterosexual participants. 

Though Polyamory has likely been around since the evolution of the unicorn, the word itself only entered the dictionary in 1992

. It has appeared in academic texts and popular culture since. Some believe that the concept was coined in New York City by the cool and utopian Kerista Commune, who were known for polyfidelity and international communities in the 70s.

Unicorn Polyamory – Third Participant in a Relationship

In a relationship, a unicorn is often an outsider who is brought together with the poly’s to engage in sexual activity and/or a full-blown relationship. Most commonly, the unicorn is a bisexual girl who is invited into a relationship with a hetero couple (man and woman). What is important to remember is that these relations are consensual and comfortable.

Polyamory is a culturally charged term as the act itself has probably existed since ancient times and is often found in some religions. Statistics show that 4-5% of people in the United States are polyamorous, whilst others consider that humans themselves are evolutionary polyamorous. This is due to 80% of early humans being polygamous

.

Why Polyamory is Good and Reasons it’s Bad

The positives of polyamory are truly endless: an increased sense of freedom, more shared intimacy and trust.

However, there are of course some negatives to this nuanced way of life such as jealousy, legal issues and overall confusion.

With religion in decline, the Western World has become more open to polyamory and multiple-partner relationships. You can even see this in some characters in your favorite books and TV shows who opt into open relationships with more than one person as opposed to monogamous ones.

That said, there is certainly a sense of judgment that still remains as polyamory is mostly a foreign concept for people. And though polyamory isn’t illegal, polyamorous marriage is not legal either. Marital rights are being withheld from those who engage in a relationship with more than one person. So it would be impossible to have a three-person unicorn wedding.

The Rules of Unicorns

As with all romantic and sexual things, there have to be a few rules for things to run smoothly.

As a general rule of thumb, the unicorn is often part of the relationship as a secondary girlfriend and usually only has sex with both partners to avoid the issues mentioned above.

Beyond ‘The One’: Exploring Modern Polyamory

There is often equal respect amongst all three members of the group. Each person brings something new and fresh to the table, both sexually and emotionally. The reason they are called unicorns is that its hard to find someone willing to complete the relationship, as it were. But people do search for this nevertheless…

Unicorn Hunting

Noooo don’t worry, it’s not like Buffy The Unicorn Slayer!

Instead, Unicorn hunting is just the act of finding unicorns, or a bisexual woman, who’d be a willing addition to the couple. Though it might’ve been trickier before online dating. Now unicorn hunting is hardly a chore. Often couples make profiles on tinder with the exact desire to find someone just right for them. The unicorn emoji has allowed for a more discreet way of communicating this desire.

Usually, you’d spot a couple on tinder with the caption “Looking for a 🦄” and they’d match with women who also have the “🦄” emoji as a sign. From there they’d date as normal just with an extra person, get to know each other and see if they are the right fit.

Though unusual, the topic of the unicorn is a very serious and essential one to some couples in fulfilling their fantasies, sex lives and marriage. So the person they choose must be just right for them. However, there are also several caveats to unicorn hunting explained in the video below

The Tropes and Troubles With Unicorn Hunting

Are Unicorns Generally Female? And Why?

Unicorns are almost always bisexual women which can be caused by several things. The act of group sex is definitely atypical. The name explains this just as much. Finding someone who is willing to enter as the third part of a relationship itself is tricky and so finding a man to do this is even harder.

Women are more sought-after, as they appeal to the male party in the group. Straight men are less open to this if they will be having sex with a man as opposed to a woman. Whilst women are more sexually liberated in this sense and are usually unicorns.

Unicorns are sex-positive and progressive and are an essential and helpful addition to a relationship in their own right. As long as consent is used with caution and respect, polyamorous unicorn relationships can be the very key to the group’s mental and sexual well-being.

To Sum Up

To conclude, a unicorn is (usually) a woman who is in a sexual relationship with a couple. They come from open ideals of polyamory, where relationships digress from the normal, two-person situation. Often these are difficult to hunt down because it’s rare to find someone who is willing to enter a fully formed relationship. Tinder and dating apps have allowed for an increased success rate in hunting for unicorns. Many people have very happy, three-person, relationships full of love and understanding.